Confused as heck.

So, I've had an o-kay week so far. ehh nothing interesting worth talking about. Yenno, same old, same old, hahaha...like when do things ever get better right? & If they do, it's only temporary...haha. ohh-kay thennn, moving along.

Soo what's good in the neighborhood everybody? I miss a lot of people right now, no one really calls or texts me anymore, it's pretty sad. I REALLY miss getting random phone calls & nice/sweet txt msgs, *SIGHS...where is everybody? is everyone, just busy all of a sudden?...it's either that or I'm just being forgotten now a days. Probably my second guess. But, it's cool. ehh I guess everyone just has more important things to do now a days. Everyones getting/going somewhere. I guess that's understandable, but it would be nice to get a phone call or at least a even a txt msg from people that I havent heard from in a while :/

I am...Unmm, I don't even know right now, I'm having all these mixed emotions & what not...I'm feelin kinda jealous, but can't say why here...but uggh I feel stupid for even feeling this way, but I don't know, I just feel really jealous right now, & I hate it. UGH. I hate this feeling, I feel pathetic cause I think It's ridiculous & stupid why I'm feeling this way...someone please smack me hahaha. no really, please do. ehh I need it. ahh, I feel so stupid. Will someone please tell me why I'm feeling this way ??! & then kindly smack me after that! heh, Thanks... euiyreueiwuyeiueirew!

Confused? Goodness gracious, so am I.

I don't believe in promises & now that I think about it, I'm afraid of commitment...just a few things I've learned about myself lately. I miss...*SIGHS

--I read someone's xanga a few mins ago, & I feel really horrible right now :( 'cause this person means a lot to me, & It really affects & hurts me to know that this person feels this way. I wish I could somehow make everything better for this person, or at least cheer him up in any way possible, I wish I could take all the sadness and pain away. If I could, I definitely would. I know it's so hard for him to keep himself together, & I can see that he's struggling, even though he doesn't show it, but I know he is, deep down inside. It's not easy waking up every morning & realizing that the one person that means the most to you, Isn't there anymore, It's not easy to hold in all the tears when you feel like breaking down & crying...I can't imagine how he feels, cause I'm not in his position or shoes. But I admire the fact that he still stands strong. I know he's been through a lot and I just want to be able to be there for him, to make him happy, to make him smile 'cause he deserves it for being such a good person that he is. I feel really bad for all the times I've said things to him out of anger that I didn't even mean. I wish life was like typing so that you can always go back and delete your mistakes...but what's done is done. So now, I really just want to be the best person I can be for him, 'cause he doesn't need this crap. He deserves to be happy... and to YOU, (you know who you are) If you're reading this, I want you to know that I love you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what the situation or cirumstances are and... I won't ever leave you.

I hate this weather, it's sooooooooooooooooooooo frkn hotttt! It's annoying I have a frkn migraine cause of it. UGH. I want to swim in a pool full of ice in it...haha (like I can swim lol) Okay it's scorching hott in my room, I need to get out of here, so I'll finish this later or manana when its a bit cooler.

-AMA