-I want you to myself, I can't help it.
I always told myself to never hope: Hope for nothing, become disappointed in nothing. Still, I can't help but be a little bit selfish every now and then. Too bad this time I'm being a lot selfish. I promised I'd fight it so I wouldn't ever want what I can't have, but it doesn't always happen that way. See, sometimes the desire of one's mind overpowers what's in their heart -- worlds apart typa thing. Oh, but that's never the end of it. We build walls, allow people to tear 'em down enough to hurt us, and then build em again. Same process of the same gdamn cycle. So maybe this time I'm genuinely not kidding when I say, I really just want to be left alone this time. I play this game too often, but never purposely. I know how to get in, I know how to get out. I'm tired -- so so tired of playing a game that I can only win at my own expense. I refuse to lose focus for nothing. It's time to focus. For once in my life, I'm closing my doors for me. Selfish. But, It's about time I became this selfish.
So, my vacation is practically over. Sadly, I'll be back in school on Monday. Ah, two months went by hecka fast. Before you know It's December already. Man, back to bittersweet reality. Party time is over for me. These next two months will be CRUCIAL. But it's okay, I'm ready and I know time will fly by fast and I won't even realize it. But for the next two months I'll be MIA for a very very very long time and I mean LONG TIME. *Sighs I miss a lot of people right now, like it's not even funny.
Eh, I feel kinda Ugh I don't even know right now. I just don't feel good for some reason. Physically & Emotionally...But I rather not go into details here, like I said I wouldn't do that here anymore so yeah...nothing's entirely wrong, I just want to be more than 'okay' . Ah, Bree is rubbing off on me, we're in that depressed kinda mode :( ahhh. whatevers, I hope this whateva I'm feeling just goes away. A lot of things are bugging/annoying/irritating/frustrating me, & A lot of people are just driving me totally nuts...
I always told myself to never hope: Hope for nothing, become disappointed in nothing. Still, I can't help but be a little bit selfish every now and then. Too bad this time I'm being a lot selfish. I promised I'd fight it so I wouldn't ever want what I can't have, but it doesn't always happen that way. See, sometimes the desire of one's mind overpowers what's in their heart -- worlds apart typa thing. Oh, but that's never the end of it. We build walls, allow people to tear 'em down enough to hurt us, and then build em again. Same process of the same gdamn cycle. So maybe this time I'm genuinely not kidding when I say, I really just want to be left alone this time. I play this game too often, but never purposely. I know how to get in, I know how to get out. I'm tired -- so so tired of playing a game that I can only win at my own expense. I refuse to lose focus for nothing. It's time to focus. For once in my life, I'm closing my doors for me. Selfish. But, It's about time I became this selfish.
So, my vacation is practically over. Sadly, I'll be back in school on Monday. Ah, two months went by hecka fast. Before you know It's December already. Man, back to bittersweet reality. Party time is over for me. These next two months will be CRUCIAL. But it's okay, I'm ready and I know time will fly by fast and I won't even realize it. But for the next two months I'll be MIA for a very very very long time and I mean LONG TIME. *Sighs I miss a lot of people right now, like it's not even funny.
Eh, I feel kinda Ugh I don't even know right now. I just don't feel good for some reason. Physically & Emotionally...But I rather not go into details here, like I said I wouldn't do that here anymore so yeah...nothing's entirely wrong, I just want to be more than 'okay' . Ah, Bree is rubbing off on me, we're in that depressed kinda mode :( ahhh. whatevers, I hope this whateva I'm feeling just goes away. A lot of things are bugging/annoying/irritating/frustrating me, & A lot of people are just driving me totally nuts...
I'm an emotional wreck right now.
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