So I've been iffy about a lot of things lately. I feel like everything that's been broken in my life can never be fixed and that i'm forced to move on or get over it. It's NOT as easy as people think it is, and yeah there are people out there who can just get over the fact that they've been hurt and that they shouldn't stop their lives just because of life's disappointments, but it's not that easy for me. I mean, everyone's different right? This year I've learned a lot about myself and others and also changed, idk if it's or the better or for the worst, but im here. And as of right now, im pretty confused and sad, so I guess things did change for the worse. Life's so hard when it's not going your way...
So basically, I'm just trying to be okay like before. Not having to depend on anyone other than myself because seriously, depending on someone to make you happy or keep you sane is NOT reliable. You earn your happiness, and only you have control of whether or not you're happy. I never really realized that until I lost the one thing I depended on the most. It's pretty pathetic counting on someone, when you have yourself. Your own self is the only one you can truly count on and trust. I guess lately I've been having some trust issues, I've been like this for a while now. But instead of worrying about trusting someone, why trust anyone but yourself? right? Anyways, so far it's been me and only me, along with some of my very few great friends helping me get by every single day of my very confusing life.
Things are far better off this way. I'm too familiar with this cycle. It definitely cannot be stopped, but I can elongate all positive vibes to out-do all negative aspects. Changes have been made, and lessons have most definitely been learned-- but it doesn't end here. Not even close. It's true that nobody really knows what they really want other than what's good at this moment.
For the most part, I know where I want to be, for now at least. With the right steps and the right drive, it's most definitely attainable. We've got nothing but time on our hands. It's not necessarily true, but it's good enough for now. I told myself I'd never settle for anything than my best, but I guess this is really my best for now. Things will be much better soon enough.
Happiness is definitely a state of mind. If there's one thing I've definitely learned, it's that. You are however you see yourself. You will feel however you let yourself feel. All happiness is in the mind, as Vaughn's fortune cookie has stated. I knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing, so I didn't bother pretending it would be. That much doesn't matter though.
So basically, I'm just trying to be okay like before. Not having to depend on anyone other than myself because seriously, depending on someone to make you happy or keep you sane is NOT reliable. You earn your happiness, and only you have control of whether or not you're happy. I never really realized that until I lost the one thing I depended on the most. It's pretty pathetic counting on someone, when you have yourself. Your own self is the only one you can truly count on and trust. I guess lately I've been having some trust issues, I've been like this for a while now. But instead of worrying about trusting someone, why trust anyone but yourself? right? Anyways, so far it's been me and only me, along with some of my very few great friends helping me get by every single day of my very confusing life.
Things are far better off this way. I'm too familiar with this cycle. It definitely cannot be stopped, but I can elongate all positive vibes to out-do all negative aspects. Changes have been made, and lessons have most definitely been learned-- but it doesn't end here. Not even close. It's true that nobody really knows what they really want other than what's good at this moment.
For the most part, I know where I want to be, for now at least. With the right steps and the right drive, it's most definitely attainable. We've got nothing but time on our hands. It's not necessarily true, but it's good enough for now. I told myself I'd never settle for anything than my best, but I guess this is really my best for now. Things will be much better soon enough.
Happiness is definitely a state of mind. If there's one thing I've definitely learned, it's that. You are however you see yourself. You will feel however you let yourself feel. All happiness is in the mind, as Vaughn's fortune cookie has stated. I knew it wasn't going to be smooth sailing, so I didn't bother pretending it would be. That much doesn't matter though.
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