I'm falling straight for you.

"Your name is a chamber to my heart, you are the music to my art, I'm falling straight for you, please tell me that you're ready too, everything you do makes me love you..."

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the decreased amount of my blogging, nothing exciting has been going on so I didn’t feel like wasting your reading time on something unimportant, but I am FINALLY back from FRISCO, I spent some time with my MOM and other relatives, It was "okay", heh but anyways I'm back to reality (sadly) and I am busier than ever, SO MUCH to do, and SO LITTLE time to do it all. It's crazy, It's driving me crazy, I'm finally graduating in less than 90 days and I'm starting to get a tad bit freaked out, It's exciting but scary all at the same time!

So I recently started to bake again:

& FYI: These were inspired by Bakerella.

Basically, it’s cake in lollipop form dipped in chocolate, candy melts, or whatever that’s capable of melting and hardening quick. To tell you the truth, I didn’t think I would be able to pull it off the first time (let alone pull it off at all), but it was pretty easy because I guess I’ve build up my patience. One thing that bothers me about these cake pops is that they are just too sweet. I can only nibble small amounts at a time; which I guess is a good thing because they aren’t that big to begin with. Give me some feedback on what you think!

& then I came home and made Oreo truffles.

I think I'm getting better at dipping (:

MMM, SCRUMPTIOUS!

Oh and as for everything else, It's not perfect but, It's all good. I feel like I'm missing something, I just don't know what it is, Hmm...

'til next time,
XoXo -Arlaine

Talk about being disconnected.

It's like 9am and I've been up since I don't know what time, But I COULD NOT SLEEP It's sooo nerve racking...UGH. I wan't to sleep soo badly BUT for some odd reason I CAN'T. It's annoying.

UGH. So, I decided that I'm going to turn off my phone ( Actually, it's already off now as we speak) so that I won't be tempted to look at it like every hour or be tempted to call "people" and I've decided to delete my facebook and my myspace as well and I won't be on AIM anymore. My cousin gave me a bright idea, and It's to just "Stay Quiet" and that's what I'm going to do, is be still and stay quiet and away from EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE...and um I'm contmeplating whether I should leave the country for 2 months and I might just do it, If anything I'll be leaving THIS Friday the 6th.

I don't want to talk to anyone AT ALL, SERIOUSLY. Good luck with trying to get a hold of me, cause you're all going to need it. I'm not answering or replying to anyone's calls or text messages so have fun trying to get a hold of me. BYE.

A little too late.

Okay, so I'm worried, I've been worried all day, Now I know how Bree feels like when I make her worry about me, and It's NOT fun, I repeat It is NOT FUN... and I'm not feeling the greatest in the world right now, obviously. I hate feeling this way. no matter how many times I tell myself not to think about it or worry about him, I still do 'cause sometimes whats in the heart overpowers ones mind and ability to think and thats exactly whats going on with me right now. I hate not knowing if he's okay, or if he's eaten yet and so on... I know I said I would'nt care about him anymore and all that other stuff I was saying out of my butt, but It' is really easier said than done. I've noticed all I've been doing this entire day is worrying about him, call me crazy I probably am, But I still do care. I mean who am I fooling right? Well no one anymore, obviously. I really miss him and I hate it. I hate myself for feeling this way. I just want to hug him and tell him that everythings going to be okay or vice versa. I can't even get through him. I honestly feel like a REALLY horrible person right now, maybe Kuya Tom is right, maybe all this is REALLY ALL MY FAULT and I should just suck it up, since it's my own doing.

Maybe It is my fault for never showing him that I cared about him enough, or never ever calling him and telling him my problems when all he wanted to do was be there for me, maybe its my fault for always pushing him away and for opening this potty mouth of mine and always saying all these hurtful things to him maybe Its my fault for accusing him all the time and never learning to trust him and fully forgive him, maybe I wasn't just a good enough of a girlfriend and an actual friend to him. maybe this is really all my fault for never being there enough for him, maybe I didn't appreciate him as much, maybe this and maybe that, There's a lot of reasons, a lot of questions and so little answers...

Now I'm laying here typing all this crap because I really HAVE NO ONE to vent to as of now and It's the worst feeling in the world feeling A-L-O-N-E isn't the best feeling :( I really don't know anymore.


But right now, I am sure of one thing and It's I really miss him, need him and want him and I feel just like Bree right now, she doesn't want anyone but Cameron and I don't want anyone but Paul right now either. Who am I kidding? seriously. Talk about being honest. I can't even be honest with myself when deep down inside all the attention I really want from right now IS FROM HIM. NO ONE ELSE. Seriously. I pray that he's okay. If anything bad happened to him, It'll be ALL MY FAULT :'(

Leaving on a jet plane?

Soo, I just got off the phone with my aunt from Australia and I told her whats been going on with me, and she offered to take me in for 2 months since im on vacation...and since I'm not doing so ehh here, she said it would be a good idea for me to get away from everyone and all the DRAMA ...here in HELLAY. So I'm sitting here staring at the "Buy your ticket now" option, and I don't know should I? 2 months out of the country is a lonnnnnnnng time. Im afraid to be homesick...well not literally If you know what I mean. Ah I don't know. Should I stay or should I go? If I do end up leaving, It'll be like running away from my problems. I have no idea. Im confused.