So today is the first time I've step foot in a church in a month, it felt weird but at the same time I felt good inside, to finally be in a place where theres peace. So, my dad wants me to get involved with their Music ministry there, but ehhh not feelin' it. I miss my old church too much, oh so very dearly. I wanted to cry 'cause I miss everyone so much...I actually did cry during the service. I miss singing in church and sitting in between Ate Faith & Ate Sheryl every Sunday. It feels akward sitting down next to my parents, but it's okay though...I guess. I just miss everyone. It sucks 'cause I didn't even really get to say goodbye to most of the people there. ahhh, I just miss everyone ): They've been there for me at my worst and at my best. *SIGHS , but there's really nothing I can do my parent's don't want to go back...yet. Hopefully they'll change their minds sooner or later. HOPEFULLY. but for now, I guess I'll be MIA for a while...for a LONG while. I hope I see you guys soon, I love all of you haha well almost all of you...
I plan to focus on what I have now and make the best of every moment. I'm hopeful for the future. I just wished sometimes I could be a bit more optimistic than doubtful about the people that may or may not stay in my life. It's not like I can plan to keep them... How do you revolve yourself around that? I'm so intrigued to wanting to know how couples stay together for soo long. Why do we wait and let things happen the way theyre supposed to go but contradictingly they all say that if you don't plan a future, then you won't have one? The hell. This is why I always keep that partial distance with everyone so it can keep me from hurting, ever....if I were to lose them. But why am I contemplating on the negativities of what may not happen? I don't know!!!
Just a few thoughts.
...I'm not gonna go into details. The outcome, I can assure you, is going to be gruesome. I honestly think that I've endured enough pain and punishment. Sleeping around 4am is enough to make a girl want to hit her head against the wall (I didn't hit my head against the wall, but it was one of the options). I now have what I call "hamster eyes" from the lack of sleep and the insignificant amount of tears shed. This is going to be a long day...
-Arlaine
2 comments:
so what church are you going to now? and you should get involved, you never know you may fall in love with the ministry and the church! so im guessing you are notgoing to say goodbye? well in that case GOOD BYE ARLAINE! ill see you around, maybe... but probably not lol
man ER, you sound jerky. Anyways, yeah, what church are you going to now and I also think you should be getting involved in the church. As ER said, you might love it. Maybe this is where you belong, or just being tested. Either way, make the most out of it, my dear. And whatever happens, happens. But remember to always keep your head up!! <3 And no need for goodbye because I'm sure we'll see you around. =] love you, arlaine!
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